Six hours later, an (actually good) ending
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Before releasing a book, I always read through a printed copy, which helps me spot things I might have missed on the screen, and allows me to (kinda) experience it as a reader.
For the final review of Empire Breaker, I headed to a lovely cottage up a frozen hill with writing BFF Lydia M. Hawke. On the third day, I reached the end, and this is how it went:
Immediately after reaching end, sitting at dining room, wiping away tears as snow gently drifts down outside: Wow. Okay, nailed it. Good trilogy closer. Powerful. Super emotional. Go, me. Wow.
1 hour later (in hot tub, drinking whiskey while telling Lydia how smart I am): I tell you, this is...wow. What an ending. I mean, wow. Right? Wow.
2 hours later, making tea: It’s like, a bit dark and all that. But that last line? Oof. And, I mean, sure, I’m still crying, but…wow.
3 hours later, clutching sopping tissue, staring into fireplace: … … I mean, wow. My heart still hurts. That’s…that’s good. Right?
4 hours later, stress shoving clementines into my mouth (we didn’t have chocolate, okay?): It’s like, you know, you’re like, oof, this story, and then, like, it’s over. You know? (Lydia gave me a skeptical look—the same one that you’re probably giving me, too.)
5 hours later, staring at shell of self in mirror: … … … <softly whispers> It’s fine. It’s fine, right?
6 hours later, looking up from the phone game I’m trying to distract myself with: It’s been six hours. I’m still depressed. I don’t think my ending is fine! <cue author distress>
And, dear readers, my ending really wasn’t fine. It was beautiful. Powerful. Wow, sure. But too dark (even for me!) So I took that sucker apart, keeping all the scenes and devastating feels, and gave my characters the chance to move forward, adding moments that showed the darkness had not engulfed them (as it had me for six hours). That they would, with all their broken bits and scars, carry on. That the strength that saw them through two trilogies mattered, and that they could still lean on each other.
Once I was done that ending, I sighed contentedly (and wiped a tear away). It was the same ending, but it was so much more. It was still wow, and now also contentedly sighing.
Lydia and I celebrated by making snow angels in a mound of ice (do not recommend) while barefoot and wearing bathing suits (highly recommended if you suffer from hot flashes).
You can’t rewrite endings in life, but you certainly can in fiction. Thankfully before the book is published!
To celebrate perfect endings, I’ve released Empire Breaker early on my website! It’s the series finale, and it’s the best ending I’ve ever written (and rewritten until I could read it without wallowing for six hours. Woo!) It marks the completion of a second Broken Land trilogy, and I am so proud and happy that Cassara, Avarielle, and Shirina got to continue their story!
I hope that, wherever you are, you, too, manage to seek the light, and know that I’m cheering you on. 💖
Much love,
Marie
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